I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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