You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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