at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
