God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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