The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
