Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
