a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
