jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
