i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I want her autograph on my taint
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
