my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize