Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
