I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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