I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Randomize
