Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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