i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
