every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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