U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
