Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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