Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You are the jesus of drinking
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
