non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize