Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize