So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
