just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
