hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
