How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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