we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
