I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
