He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
