i think my mom watched the whole time
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Randomize
