I can tuck mytits in my pants
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
