she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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