THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize