You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Randomize
