You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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