i would punch a child for taco bell
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
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