1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize