How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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