Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Randomize
Follow @tfln