i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
