I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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