I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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