laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
