some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
