I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
