i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize