O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
