was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
