once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
