Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
