I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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