i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
