Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
