She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
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Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
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He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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