Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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