You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
