I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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