He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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