I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
