I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
